iareruss

This place, and the wonderful people, personalities, art styles, and heartfelt sharing of expressed life has been there for me when I needed something, anything to continue on. Now that life is no longer without form and path for me, without depression, regrets, and or unforgiveness - I feel I must leave with peace, and I believe I have found it. I don't know when my time is, but I know it is near--as near as time permits it to be.

I thought I should speak from the heart, and thank those that have taught me things I couldn't even comprehend or understand about my own being... those that I have shared with here on this very place on the web, a place that has been more home to me than anything or anyone for many many years. So I leave you all with this last journal entry, and I will no longer sign onto deviantART--ever, again. Those that are still expressing themselves, thank you for taking the time to hear me, thank you for being there to accept me. Hopefully this will be accepted as my last expressive gift for all deviants, that take chances and are not afraid to express their 'true selves'; the amazing individuals, beings, and intellectuals and most of all--Artists, and friends that I will miss as I approach the beginning of my true path... the end of my road as an artist, or being of expression for this one place--as I approach the entire fabric of peace, love and harmony itself as I patiently walk towards. I must come out and say it now... that I am no longer suffering, things are finally better and I have come to the light, warmth and comfort of the situation I "had" with my...hereditary issues that were expressed last time I wrote to anyone that would listen. Know this... I am now simply moving on with what is left of my life, to pursue life in the path I was meant for; I Am, I Am.

As those who know me-know this; I am a very deep individual. When I feel it necessary, I share bursts of myself in full view, opening myself up to everyone through art, and my idea and acceptance of what I believe to be, my real and true self... expression. Those that have gotten to know me, care for me, and have been there to assist me through the hard times, as well as the wonderful times when I needed and most of all when I didn't need, will appreciate this if nothing at all--that what you see beyond this point, is my view of how I wish the world could be, for everyone's peace. Please accept this gift of knowledge, respect, and honesty as real and true spirituality as I have begun to believe and understand as so (nothing to do with religion), from Jacque Fresco, into my heart and now brought to you in my words, as I see fit to share... as my last words:

We 'literally' cannot live the way we have been since. If we do not remove the profit system and replace it with a resource based system built with the inclusion of nature, and life, true spirituality and love--we will not survive as Man--but we will slowly, and painfully continue destroying each other, until nothing is left--not even the pain. Until the entire world accepts the principal, and finally understands what the only intelligent plan for peace is actually about, and moves toward it... we will ultimately, and utterly suffer the most dire, and most destructive and most truest hold to the opposite of peace that we can't even wake up for a half a second to even get a glimpse of, let alone understand it before the "unbelievable".

Sincerely--with love and blessings-Thank you all, so much.

Russ - Believer in the truth of The Venus Project: www.thevenusproject.com

Just thought you guys should know. I haven't been active on here much because I'm passing away. No one knows how much longer I have to live.

 

I just wanted to say Goodbye, before I do.

 

I had a lot of fun times here, this place has helped me with more problems than I can count, especially the people I've talked to, and became friends with here.

 

I really appreciate everyone, and I'm sorry it's come to this, but there is nothing that can be done. No doctors here care, so they're basically letting me die.

 

I'll miss this place. Good luck in all that you do.

 

Sincerely,

Russ M.

I've been prepping for a big tournament coming up soon for me, I hope I win. I passed the first challenge.

While I've been doing this, what motivates me is music, as usual - since I'm not a motivated person, the only thing I can find that helps is music - so here is what I've been listening to lately:

EDIT: The code refused to work so here is the URL - youtu.be/alQ3KQwxHbQ

I love that album, the music is fantastic.

I'm looking forward to the tournament.

Aside from that, I'm about to finally get my license back, after all this time. It's been years since I drove. Now once I have them back, it'll be easier to get back to going where I want to, when I want to - instead of relying on others to assist me with that.

I might just have the opportunity to make money doing my dream job - MLG. I'm working towards it. Since I was a teen, I've played video games a lot. I still love video games to this day and I'm damn good at most games, especially games that require a lot of skill to succeed. I'm quick, precise and I'm hard to kill in games that you can be killed in. That's my thing, games. It's a hobby but I'm trying to make it a career. Who wouldn't want to get paid having fun all day doing what they know they're good at?

I might also do some art from time to time again, I just haven't decided yet what I'm going to start with. I might just do some actual paintings, which I can do - just haven't in forever and unfortunately I've never shared them here before. I might do that.

Anyway, thanks for reading if you did. Even if you didn't - I'm glad I have somewhere I can post things about my life. Over the years DA has been what's helped me the most to get through my horrible chronic depression stages, which I no longer have. Life is ridiculously better than it was for me.

See you around the D.

- Russ M.

Just letting the masses that know of me that I am back, but I probably still won't be on the site much. I enjoy coming on to check out something new every now and again, but most of the time - I do other things.

I know I use to spend a lot of time on this site, and it has helped me get through the hard times in my life which just happened to be most of my life.

Now that things have changed in me so drastically, I just seem to be a different person.

I don't have much else to say and I don't know what my life is going to be like in 10 years or even 20 years. But I know that I'm finally out of the hole I was in and life is looking good now. So I don't care about the future, just the now - while it lasts.

Anyway, see you around. If you wish to stay in contact with me aside from here since I won't be on here much, ask me in a note - when I get around to it - I'll reply with other ways to contact me (not online). Otherwise, good luck here on the site, I'll see you around here every once and a while.

All the stuff I've designed thus far will stay up - I am not going to be removing anything. But I might not submit any art again for a long long time, might not ever submit again. The one I submitted recently was something I did for appreciation and I don't think it'll happen again. I enjoy art, but I find that I've totally burned myself out of art, quite a lot - because I spent a good deal of my life doing nothing else but creating what I could and submitting it here. I did nothing else with my life during that time frame really. I was a very depressed individual, so much so I'll admit that I had tried to kill myself once. Of course things have changed now though, which is why I seem different - because I am different.

I'll always enjoy art, but I may not create again - who knows. It's a decision that pretty much was made all by itself, I just don't have the same interest in it as I use to. I've made some friends here, some were still considered friends, others just moved on. So we'll just have to see what this has in store for me now since things are so much different for me, and I am such a different person.

Sincerely,
Russ M.